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SINGAPORE - Jul 23, 2003

Christ Almighty! Hate-mongers join forces to spread discrimination and dark influence in Your Name on a tiny island nation.

Merely weeks after Singapore Prime Minister Goh admitted the obvious -- that human beings are born with a variety of sexual inclinations and that the government was already allowing open homosexuals into the national workforce -- a sad gang of supposed religious leaders has decided to drop the compassion act and form a mafia-like cabal to arm-twist the government until it agrees to deny civil service jobs to capable citizens that just happen to be gay or lesbian.

Instead of setting an example to others by following the lead of Jesus -- who blessed prostitutes, beggars, and the mentally ill -- a tiny mafia of whacked-out moral authorities have organized a lynch mob to "apply constant pressure" to local officials in a pathetic attempt to shore up their ever-loosening grip on Singapore's educated, tolerant society.

The Straights' Times...uh, we mean Straits Times, reported that 20 worrisome hand-wringers formed an unholy fellowship to meddle in the lives of other Singaporeans whom they fear and wish God would condemn to hell. Foremost among these kooks is Pastor Yang Tuck Yoong from the Cornerstone Community Church, and Choices, an "Ex-gay" Group affiliated with Church of Our Savior.

Calling for a "battle against homosexuality", they adopted the religious fever of a jihad to single out the minor sin of fornication as needing the utmost attention of their followers; putting grave offenses like murder, divorce, infidelity, spousal abuse, and self-pleasuring on the back burner.

Perversely, they don't seem to have learned from past experience that their actions will only serve to further liberate fellow citizens who have suffered in silence against such irrational fear and hatred. The more Singaporeans talk about gay and lesbian issues, the more fabulously live-and-let-live the general population becomes. Religious bigots never seem to understand that their best course of action would be to shut up and minister to others of their faith who have more worrisome problems than what homosexuals do for fun in bed.

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," sighed an exasperated Son of God who was forced to sit through the tedious planning meeting due to his omnipresence.

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